Plan For Goa Trip

Friday, January 13, 2012 Posted by Rahul Burman 3 comments

Pre-requisites
1. Book a HOTEL or RESORT (We booked a RESORT, which was decent enough. It is called BAMBOO MOTELS . We were in a COTTAGE (which has 2 huge bed rooms and off-course they do have individual rooms) .. ;-) We paid around 1500 Rs/Day for cottage + 100 Rs for extra bed and individual rooms costs around 1000 Rs/Day

Goa Plan !!!
1. As soon as you enter GOA limits... Don't get excited ... Just Sit and Relax ;-)

2. After getting out of TRAIN ..in VASCO DA GAMA ..Catch a Taxi and go to PANJIM.

3. Go to M/Hotel or Room ... Fresh'n up ;-) .. Have cup off Tea ... ;-).

4. Book a bike (around 250 to 300 Rs rent per day + Petrol) or CAR (900 to 1000 Rs or more depending on the CAR you choose) to travel locally... That is the best means of transport (They will ask your License and Deposit which is refunded at the END). You can get the details from the Resort Manager or super visor or as soon as you get down in Panjim Main bus stop, you will find taxi's and you can check those guyz for rented bikes or Cars. Negotiate properly J

Day 1 –


a. Go to Miramar hotel for break fast ..which is opposite to Miramar Beach ..It opens at 12.00 PM ..nice place for Break fast (there are two hotels in the same place .. go to the one which opens at 12.00 PM and order for Channa Batturaa with Beer ..after break fast order Chocolate almond....Yummmiiiiiii ).

b. Go to Chapora fort (Remember DIL CHAHTA HAIN Movie’s Goa Trip J) .. awesome place .. If you have stamina .. Trek to that place from the Vagator beach... Get adequate fluids ..I know you will get tired .. ;-)

c. Thats it for Day 1 .. You will be itching to go back to your room .. ;-)

d. While coming from Dil chahta hain fort (chapora) ;-) .. on the way to your Resort (if you are booking BAMBOO MOTELS) ..on right side (Main road towards Margao)..you will find Baskin Robbins stop there again have Chocolate Almond ..... you will be charged up ;-) .. 

e. Next to Baskin Robbins, you have Dominos..Order two large Cheese burst pizza and go to your MOTEL .. sit by the pool side ..and Enjoy the bite ;-) with a chilled Beer ;-)

Day 2 –

a. Repeat Day 1, Step a ;) 

b. Get your Swimming costumes and Go To CANDOLIM Beach. Another good place where you can enjoy !!! 

c. On the way to CANDOLIM Beach, you can see KINGFISHER VILLA .. Curse Vijay Mallya & his Son Siddharth Mallya to have such a wonderful Villa, Life and off-course HOT GALS ;-) 

d. After cursing Mallya get inside to CANDOLIM Beach ..search for nice shacks and relax for few minutes and get ready to dive into Water .. Enjoy the wonderful waves .. ;-) 

e. Before getting into water ..Order some food ... so that it will be ready when you get back to your shacks bcoz you will be damn hungry ;-) 

f. There will be lot of Goa tourist guyz near the beach and offer you to take to middle of the beach and show Dolphins and say scuba diving (but it is just snorkeling) and bloddy they charge 1500 to 2000 Rs per head .. but its dead investment .. don’t ever take that  

g. May be you can try Para-sailing which will be fun (I haven't tried.. I missed it L. 

h. But don't miss BANANA RIDE ..That is real fun & awesome .... he will give you life jackets and drop you in the middle of the beach .. hey ..Don’t get scared its real fun J. 

i. For Gals : So again normal tendency of Gals ..... shopping on road side .. ;-) ..Carry on with your shopping .. I can't give you suggestions on that ;) . 

j. After shopping, surely you will be crazy to rush back to Motel ;-) 

k. Have dinner on the way or at your Motel.

Day 3 –

a. Repeat Day 1, Step a)  

b. Don't go to CALANGUTE BEACH... it will be jam packed .. (rather I don't want to go thr) .. if you want to check how it is !!! then get into that Beach.. but Not a gr8 place. 

c. If not that go to BHAAGA BEACH and go to Aguda fort.. Its quite good place (all these beaches are 3 to 4 kms in radius). 

d. Repeat Day 1 Step d & e ;-) 

e. End of Day 3. Relax


Day 4 – Most important Day of GOA Trip, without which your Trip is incomplete ;-) !!! 

a. Repeat Day 1, Step a) ..But be bit early as you need to travel atleast 75 to 80 Kms to reach to one of the most ROMANTIC and AWESOME place. 

b. . i.e PALOLEM BEACH... Best beach of ALL .... Don't you dare to MISS THIS BEACH.. This is one of my FAVORITE BEACH..Very calm and less crowd ... Juz perfect way to End your trip .. 

c. Plan to stay(I would insist you to stay) there for a day (travel in such a way that you will reach thr by 12.00 or max 1.00 PM.. and book( I guess you can book in advance) a BEACH RESORT (inside the beach) ( we booked at NEPTUNE POINT, which has small and beautiful huts ... and good food aswell, Address - Appendix a).. They charged around 500 to 600 rs per night and for one hut .. Its worth !!! 

d. Hey ..don’t go to bed so early .. Juz enjoy the waves and relax with chilled beer..Take a Stroll .. you will definitely luv that place  

e. Now (may be around 2.00 A.M) go to bed ... ;-) 

f. Wake up at around 10.00 AM.. Get ready to travel back to PANJIM. 

g. Repeat Day 2, Step i ;-) 

h. Drive safely ;-) ..make sure you guyz reach before it gets darker .. (But we drove during the night .... after 12.00 AM ..to have fun but kids like you shouldn't try this )


Day 5 – 

a. Wake up & pack up.. Again repeat Day 1, Step a) 

b. Say bye to Resort Manager and tip him if he has taken good care as per your expectation J 

c. If you have rented CAR or Bike, call that guy and clear it off. 

d. Go to Panjim Bus stop 

i. Repeat Day 2, Step i ;-) 

ii. Opposite to Panjim bus stop, you will find a shop where you get good Varieties of Cashew nuts, buy some for me !! lol !!! ;-) and some for your family J. 

iii. And Important thing you have to buy for us is you will find Government Liquor shops, get us Wine bottles ;-) . 

e. Catch the bus or Train and have a nice journey J


Day 6 

a. Update your parents and friends, (ofcourse including me ;-) ). About your experience in GOA. 

b. Don’t forget to update FACEBOOK with your GOA TRIP Photos


Appendix A – Neptune Point address : Palolem Beach Goa, Mobile : +91 9822584968, URL : www.neptunepoint.com, eMail : neptunepoint01@rediffmail.com (Google for exact location J )
Labels:

Man v/s Woman

Wednesday, December 21, 2011 Posted by Rahul Burman 0 comments


BRAIN:
Women - Multiple process
Women
s brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time .
Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook the new recipe.
Men - Single Process
Men
s brain designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can not watch a TV and talk over the phone at the same time. He stops the TV while Talking. He can either watch TV or talk over the  phone or cook.
                                                           
LANGUAGE: 
Women can easily learn many languages. Her brain sets up. But can not find the solutions to problems. Men can not easily learn languages; he can easily solve the problems.
3 year old gal has three times higher vocabulary than 3 year old boy.
                                                       
ANALYTICAL SKILL :
Men
s brain has lot of space for handling the analytical process. So easily he can analyze and find the solution for a process.
He can design (blue print) a map of a building easily.
If a complex map is viewed by women, she can not understand it. She can not understand the details of the map easily.
For her it is dump of lines in a paper.
                                                      
CAR DRIVING:
While driving a car, men
s analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fastly. If he see an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and driving accordingly. Where as women take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. Her single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrating only on the driving.
You can often watch, while men driving the car fastly, the women sit next to him will shout, GO SLOW , CARE FULL, AAHHH, OHH GOD..
..etc..
                                                             
LIE:    
Many times, when men lie to women face to face, they get caught easily.
Her super natural brain observes the facial expression 70%, and the body language 20% and the words coming from the mouth 10%. So he is easily caught while lieing.
Men
s brain does not have this.
Women easily lie to men face to face.
So guys, While l
ying to your girls, use phone, or letter or close all the lights or cover your/her face with blanket.
Dont lie face to face. Description: ;) :P
                                                              
PROBLEM: 
End of day, if men have lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and puts the problems in individual rooms in the brain and then finds the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking at the sky for a long time. If you disturb him, he gets irritated.
End of Day, if women have lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry about the problem being solved or not.
                                                      
WANTS: 
Men want status, success, solutions, big process etc Women want relationship, friends, familyetc


UNHAPPY:
If women are unhappy with their relations, they can not concentrate on work.
If men unhappy with their work, they can not concentrate on the relations.
                                                 
SPEECH:  
Women use indirect languages in speech.
Geeta asked Vijay, vijay do you like to have a cup of coffee?
This means, Geeta wants a cup of coffee.  
In the morning.Darling, do you think, it will be good to have an Omllette for breakfast?.
Men use direct language. Geeta, I want to have a cup of coffee, Pls stop the car when you see a coffee shop.
In the morning.Darling, Can you please prepare an omllette for breakfast?. Always men and women think differently!
                                                                   
HANDLING EMOTION:
Women talk a lot without thinking.
Men act a lot without thinking.
Thats why many of prisoners are men all over the world.
                                                            


Labels:

Wah Re Bhartiya Nari....

Posted by Rahul Burman 3 comments

Husband: (with folded hands) Aaj khane mein kya banaogi?
Wife: Jo aap kaho
Husband: Pulao bana lo
Wife: Abhi kal hi to khaye the
Husband: To sabji roti bana lo
Wife: Bacche nahi khayenge
Husband: To chhole puri bana lo
Wife: Mujhe heavy heavy lagta hai
Husband: Eggs bhurji bana lo
Wife: Aaj guruvaar hai
Husband: Paraanthe?
Wife: Raat ko paraanthe kaun khata hai???
Husband: Hotel se mangwa lete hain change ho jaayega
Wife: Roz roz hotel ka nahi khana chahiye
Husband: Kadhi chawal?
Wife: Dahi nahi hai
Husband: Idly sambar?
Wife: Usme time lagega.pehle bolna chahiye tha na!!
Husband: Maggi hi bana lo, usme time nahi lagega
Wife: Woh koi meal thodi hai? Pet nahi bharta
Husband: Phir ab kya banaogi?
Wife: Wo jo aap kaho
 
Wah Re Bharatiya Nari................. :-) :~) :-)  


Labels:

Phonecall

Friday, November 25, 2011 Posted by Rahul Burman 0 comments


Girl calls a Boy

Girl: Hello baby J
Boy: Ohh janu bolo :D

Girl: Kahan ho yar subah se koi ata pata nahi!!
Boy: Are hum to khoye hue hain aapki aankhon me..

Girl: Abhi kya kar rahe ho?
Boy: tumhari pic dekh raha hun, kahin aur man hi nahi lag raha..

Girl: Maine to tumhe koi pic di hi nahi!!
Boy: Are mere dil me chapi hai barson se..

Girl: But hum to parson hi mile hain!!
Boy: Tumhare bina har ek pal barson hai ….. Pinky

Girl: Pinky??!! Ye pinky kaun hai main to nisha hun!!
Boy: Tumse bat karke mai to sab bhul jata hun..

Girl: Tum prashant ho na??
Boy: Gharwale to ashish bulate hain, lekin wo galat ho sakte hain tum nahi..

Girl: Ye 9622XXXXXX hai na??
Boy: Ab tak nahi tha par ab yehi hai…

Unknown Call

Posted by Rahul Burman 0 comments


Unknown call..
He: do u have a bf?
She: yes, who are u?
He: I'm your brother ! Just wait till i come home!!/:):D=D

Another unknown call
He : do u have a bf ?
She : no no I don't
He : what ? :O I'm ur bf , u just break my heart
She : no no no darling I'm sorry I though u r my brother
He : =D right ! I'm ur brother Just wait till I come home , i'll show u later
=)) :'(

Another unknown Call
He : hey how are you
She : hey WHO the fuck are you.
He : Sweety I am you're BF.
She : what I don't have any BF I am a lesbian are you happie now Brother.
Boyfriend Suicides.

World's Best Girlfriend....

Thursday, September 1, 2011 Posted by Rahul Burman 2 comments
My girl is hell of an 'item'. She is a complete 'nautanki', ready with something or other which leaves me speechless. She always has something or the other up her sleeves which brings smile to my face...

Please find some of her best antics below:


1.       Her  favorite dialogue “Man Ka Kya Hai , Man To Chanchal Hai :P”

2.       Her favorite rant “Tum Mere Liye Itna Bhi Nahi Kar Sakte Ho :(“

3.       My Attempt to blackmail her…

Me: Tum Meri Khushi Ke Liye Kya Itna Bhi Nahi Kar Sakti Ho ?
She: Tumhari Khushi To Tumhare Saamne Hai, 

        Kya Kuch Aur Tumhe Mujhse Jyada Khushi De Sakta Hai :(
Me:  :O

4.       My mistake….

Me: To Kya Milega Mujhe Mera Bday Gift?
She: Kya Mere Pyaar Mein Kuch Kami Reh Gayi Jo Kuch Aur Chaiye Tumhe:(

5.       Example of her innocent but incessant demands 
      “Mujhe Pls 'Mere Brother Jki Dulhan' Dikha Do…B4  It releases”

6.       Often Interactions While visiting places….

Me : Some More Places Are Yet To Explore?
She: No Lets Go,Enough Of Pics For Today..M Tired Nw, Left With No New Poses :)

7.       Finally…

Me: Pls Chai Bana Do..
She: Jaan Pls Aap Banao Naa, Aap Bohut Acchhi Banate Ho..
Me: Acchha To Aap Pls Meri Shirt Press Kar Do
She: Are Yaar Main To Batana Hi Bhool Gayi Ki Mera Pet Dard Ho Raha Hai ..Achhaa Bfast Mein Kya Banaoge?
Me: Nautanki(In Mind)




Labels:

Best Gay Joke Ever

Friday, August 26, 2011 Posted by Rahul Burman 0 comments
Once there were a Psychopath, a Rapist and a Gay locked up in the same cell


Rapist: I Want to fuck a Cat in the ass till it dies

Psychopath: And then I will fuck it in the ass till I die

Gay: Standing in the corner, sheepishly says "Meaooww"
Labels: